HELLO ARTSIE
Hello Artsie
Well hello Artsie
It’s so great to celebrate us every year
You’re 10 years old Artsie
Now we’re sold Artsie
And we’re overjoyed you filled the void
Since Phoebe’s gone
We’ll hear some flowery speeches
And some piercing screeches
From those young theatric types right down your row
so
Glad you’re here Artsie
Now that you’re 10 this year Artsie
We’re gonna cheer for all of us today (right here)
Hello Artsie
Well hello Artsie
It’s so great to celebrate us every year
You’re 10 years old Artsie
Now we’re sold Artsie
And we’re overjoyed you filled the void
Since Phoebe’s gone
We’re all celebrating
no one here’s hating
and those nominees, their knees are shaking strong
so
That day’s here Artsie
We’ll see who wins this year Artsie
Let’s drink a toast to ALL OF US today (right here).
I didn’t win for that best Artsie last year
I went thru a very bad phase
But now that I’m up for the best Artsie this year…
I hope those critics took the time
to RE-appraise
Hello Artsie
Well hello Artsie
Glad to see you Art
Let’s start the show right now
You’re looking great Artsie
Lose some weight? (improv as in the show)
I think you did Artsie
Looking glamorous, kicking up a fuss
At our theatre prom
We’re here anticipatin’
and Tired o’ waitin’
t’see who they chose to win or not this year
so
Glad you’re here Artsie
Glad you come each year Artsie
So Thrilled that it’s you’re 10th birthday today (right here).
Well well hello Artsie
Well hello Artsie
It’s so great to celebrate us every year
You’re 10 years old – Artsie!
Now we’re sold – Artsie!
and we’re overjoyed you filled the void since Phoebe’s gone
All nominees stand now
All sway with our band now
If you win or not we recognize you all
So
Glad we’re here Artsie
Glad we’re back every year Artsie
We celebrate your 10th birthday today!
EVERYTHING’S COMING UP ARTSIES
I had a dream
A dream about ME Artsie
It involved you too Artsie
I’m long overdue
Oh Artsie
I was swell
I was great
This year I’m gonna win – it’s my fate
Because I was the best
Sweetie
Everything’s coming up Atsie
Gotta pick out a dress
Oh geez look at my hair, it’s a mess
Gotta lose 20 pounds
This year everything’s coming up Artsie
Now it’s my turn
I can feel that it’s here
Oh how I yearn
We all know that this should be MY year
No one’s better than me
It’s like that part was written for me
If I don’t win tonight
Those critics I will fight
Like I said, I’m so long overdue
Richmond everything’s coming up Artsie
Please let this be true
Worked straight 10 years
I’m top dog it’s so clear
Each time I bow
Huge cheers ’cause I’ve got the know how
Now I’m here it’s tonight
And it feels like my Spanx are too tight.
When they call out my name
I’ll be glad that I came
Richmond…..
Those other nominees will just think BOO!”
everything’s coming up
OH GOD THAT SHOW WAS GREAT
everything’s coming up
THAT SHOW IT WAS THE WORST
everything’s coming up
I AM SO GLAD HE WON
everything’s coming up
I AM SO PISSED HE WON
everything’s coming up
LORD SHE WINS EVERY YEAR
everything’s coming up
BEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR
everything’s coming up
GOD THAT’S AN UGLY DRESS
everything’s coming up
HE LOOKS GOOD IN A TUX
everything’s coming up
BEST ARTSIES THAT I’VE SEEN
EVERYTHING’S COMING UP ARTSIE RIGHT NOW IN ACT TWO!!!